I don't have another surgery this friday anymore! So I got that going for me. haa It's all the recovery from here. I'm kind of sick of it...which is unfortunate because I've still got a long way to go. haha I'm thinking the worst of it is over now though :))

I shouldn't be allowed to start occupational and physical therapy for 2 months. Doc wants all the metal and implants to be set in/healed more. Unfortunately, this week we have had some minor complications. My shoulder is not stabilized much at all. I haven't used it much so the muscles that hold my left scapula in place are really weak. Now that I'm moving my arm around again my scapula moves out of place.This is hurting/rubbing up against some of my ribs and then sometimes my spine. It hurts to breathe, on top of the complications of my disease (which can make it difficult to breathe as well). I don't really know what to think about it. The women who checks in on me everyday said to be logging it, talk about it at my appointment on tuesday and go to an urgent care if it gets really bad. I've had much worse hah She think's I may need to start physical therapy sooner. Little unfortunate to have this added to my pain but if it means on the road to getting better I'll take it!

I'm still sore but I'm moving around pretty well, probably doing too much just because I am not one to sit still. I try really hard if that counts. Surgeries really screw with you; mentally and physically. It can be exhausting. That's why I haven't wanted to write these past couple days. However, I continue to improve and become more self sufficient. (I put on my sweats to day by myself!)

This road to recovery is going to be a long journey, and not just from surgery but from my disease. It's kind of like world war two, I've got two wars I'm fighting hahah. One on each side. But I win both of them, so that's what matters ;) For some reason I was under the impression it would be an instant change. Don't get me wrong the implants are already helping but I still have some fighting to do.

I made a list of things I want to try if I feel better. After the surgeries I realized I had fixated too much on doing all these things. I had to give it up to God; yes these are all good things/goals, but they are still worldly things. God is all I need. I have been able to find so much joy in Him. No matter what the circumstance I've been learning to be able to find that joy and fixate on that.

I'm a runner at heart. I want to run a marathon, or half marathon, or be able run at all. It feels like I've been in a marathon these past four years. I can finally see the finish line; its making me antsy. I will finish the race strong, not knowing what's beyond that finish line, but knowing that I won't be alone. Time to get excited 

" Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." - 1 Corinthians 9:24-25

" I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." -2 Timothy 4:7